Unique.

Being the same makes a world boring, being different makes everything else interesting. 

So, a subject on being unique. I have many things that really stand out about me. First of all, my ability to speak amazingly with the disability I have is awesome. I am definitely very unique. The disability that I have? Hard of hearing. 

So, let me take you guys back a little bit. . . 

Five years after I was born, I had a slight loss of hearing. I did not suffer any illness or had any diseases that was relevant to my hearing loss. I remember going to the doctors as a child. Any child who remember how much of a drag going to the dentist was at a young age, should imagine what it is like for a child who is on the way to a world of deafness have to deal with going to these appointments. Going to the dentist is nothing compared to going to the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor. So much pain. And there is no medicine for this pain. I hated it so much. Getting my ear cleaned was horrible. They would take a sharp object and just try to scratch the wax out of my ear because of irritation. My mother can even recall how much of a pain these moments were for me. I am just glad that the cleaning process is not even remotely close to how it was when I was just a little child. 

Maybe because I could shelter in and hold the pain better, and I built tolerance for it? Who knows? So, the doctors would do test after test to figure out what caused the slight decrease in my hearing. They never found out what did, and to this day they still do not know. 

Growing up in a mainstream school, where I was the only deaf kid in every class that I went to, it was pretty hard, but the friends I made while I was living there at the time understood. I spent many of my young years hating on people because I was different, and I hated it. Always looked at life a bit negatively, but I was still a very positive little kid, who played baseball, and other sports, had a great base of friends.

In 2003, many things in my life changed. I was leaving my best friends behind, going to a state I never really even heard about (Nebraska.) and wasn't excited at all about this move. Just having to go somewhere else, make new friends and blend in, hoping someone else would be there hard-of-hearing like me.

So being in Nebraska was new. Flat lands, bunch of corn fields and a very conservative town. Columbus is what they called it. I kind of liked it, but missed the mountains. Call me crazy, but over the course of my life...living there, I never really had so much support that really changed the course of my life. 

When November rolled around, I was already two months into a new school. I remember this day. It was very bright for a day in Autumn. When you live in Washington, fall is so much colder (well.. back then.), and very cloudy from where I was living. There were barely any clouds in the sky. I know this because I was sitting in the English class room in my middle school, with the blinds up and the sunlight shining through the windows. 

My hearing started to go slowly, and I just thought maybe it was because wax was building up in my ear or a problem with my hearing-aid. So I went to the office because I thought maybe my battery had died out on me. My mom took me home, checked my ear, and to her surprise, my ear was not bad, it was not fully super clean, but it was clean enough. Changed the batter and could not hear a thing. In that moment I didn't cry, because I was too in shock to really understand what was happening to me. 

This was the first time I saw that my stepfather was really sad about what happened to me, and my mom just kind of knew that this day was going to happen, but you can't really prepare for these things. I wasn't prepared one bit, I didn't even know Sign Language. 

The doctor confirmed that I lost all of my hearing. The decibels that they were playing in the headphones were off the charts.. (not literally, but more like hearing jet engines so close to you.) So, new to the world of deafness, I spent two months at home, doing school work from home because it was a new place, it was not until that December I returned and went to classes. The people were really supportive. I had help and it was amazing. 

I later got something called a Cochlear Implant. That bought me back me from the brink of a whole world of deafness, back into the beautiful life of sound. I missed hearing what the T.V sounded like, or the music. I missed listening to the birds chirp and people voices. Missed hearing the bell ring just before school got out. 

On January 26, 2004 I finally got all this back. The surgery was successful. But I was very weak and very impatient about getting my hearing back, which would happen a month later. I finally got it hooked up and my mom bought her friend a long and they got to witness me hear a the sound of a clock. I never heard a sound of a clock that far away. It was just so amazing. One of those moments that are breathe taking. Ever since I had this Cochlear Implant, my life changed. I started to see people where just trying to help me and not change me. It made me regret the way I lived life before. But that didn't matter, and I didn't make that matter, because I left the past, in the past and moved on. My speech over the next two years developed so much better that people just started forgetting that I was deaf in the first place. I am not fully monotone, although there are times that I am. The case was unique to doctors, how fast I was progressing and adapting to the Cochlear Implant was phenomenal to them. 

"People like to say that I have a limit to do the things that I can do. It is not that we are limited, it is that we choose to live life knowing that the things we can do, are unlimited."

                               -Jacob Williams, January 2010 on Deafness, Hard-of-Hearing and limits.

And I loved being different. It wasn't for the attention, or that I am special or that I am unique, its because I was at peace for the first time in my entire life with my hearing. Moments like that, never leave  your heart. 

"Most of you will say that the sun sets, but it is only those with true and unique insight that point out that it really is just their world that is spinning."

                                                                    - Jacob Williams, July 2012 on being unique.

I write a lot of quotes, this one is not my all time best, but I will tell you it is one of the smartest ones. People will see things for how they are. People really never stop and look at things to see what truly is happening in that moment. In the case of the sun setting, is really true. It is not really the sun that is moving, it is the earth that is spinning. But in our eyes, for the perfect illusion, that is what we see, because we choose to see it in that way. It is also easier to say "sunset" than "World is spinning." 

Never be afraid to show the world that you are different. Because if you are all just the same, being different will lose it's meaning. It is not about being special, or being better than others. It is about showing people the things you can do are unlimited. My deafness is a gift that God gave to me, to show people that I am uniquely happy in the way I live, the choices that I make to live life optimistic rather than hate, and following Christ. I am a walking reminder that my hearing today, is beyond comprehensions of the mystery work that God uses every day in our lives.  

"The Possibilities are only possible, if you take a chance with the possibility to walk with Christ." 

                                           -Jacob Williams, on taking a chance with Christ

I love all of my friends, all of my family, and everyone who supported me in this life. It is not because of you that I struggle, it is because of you, I am stronger. I love you guys all. 

God is Love.

J.