Peace.

Accepting the right things, getting rid of pain that instills you.

Acceptance is probably one of the toughest fought battles that I have ever faced in my life. Accepting the fact that my father, who now is in a better place will not be able to see me grow up in person, but in spirit. There are days where I can hardly imagine his face let alone remembering his voice.

Sometimes in this life, you have to accept the fact that some things are just out of your control. And it is okay that in those moments when you feel lost, no hope or crushed, that you realize that everything happens for a reason. Whether you believe in God or not, he certainly does believe in you.

Today, I woke up with a feeling of peace. Just letting God take care of the things that I have no control in over my life, and I am perfectly okay with that. My productivity continues, putting out more applications to heighten my chances of finding a job.

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"In this life, sometimes you have to do what you need to do in order to achieve the things that you want to achieve." 

                                                                                                          -  Jacob Williams, 2009

The moment when you feel peace it is a really rich feeling. For some, it can be as if time is slow, and your senses really start to kick in, at higher levels. For other people, it is just not feeling anything, not happy, sad or upset, just more as noticing that this moment is a moment for what it is and you accept it. Acceptance plays a huge role in bringing peace into your lives. It is not the only way, but it worked for me. 

It took me a long time to accept dealing with the pain instilled deeply inside of my heart of knowing that my dad will no long be here in flesh, but in spirit. But I accept the fact that it was God's will, and it was his time. Although his decisions reflected on this fate, in the end, that is where it took him. I solemnly believe that God has a plan for everything.

I started to look at the positives ten years after his death. How much stronger it made me. I've learned so much just from an act that decided someones departure-- who was really close inside my heart. I may not truly get close to people as I have in the past in result of what happened, but I have accepted that his is the outcome, and that sooner or later, I will have to face that inner demon myself.

Because of this departure, as I mentioned in earlier posts, it gave me inspiration to want to have kids someday, and really be there for them- every step of the way. In other ways it made me the person I am today, made me really think about things before I would do them. 

So, for the meantime, I really feel at peace right now. Moving on in life and starting to focus on the things I really need to focus on. It was nice to spend two years of my life in the party scene, doing my own thing and having fun. But I got tired of waking up and doing the same thing everyday. 

Hangovers, throwing up, missing important conversations, missing memories and important things you really don't want to forget. Being sober every day is a constant reminder that you never know what is coming your way. You live one day at a time, and take one day at a time, accept it and take whatever it is for what it is. 

Bad things happen. Good things happen. Let the times roll and live to love and start accepting that you cannot control every single aspect of your entire lives. Only a majority of it. Have the mentality to put God first, you second and whatever else that is important in your life, third. 

'Cause my friends, freedom ain't free, and you only get one shot at living this life. Might as well live it as it is your last, because in my perspective it is. Abide in the truth, seek it and follow it, Hold fast and have faith. You can't find the truth by feeling something, You find truth in his Word.

I encourage those who haven't heard "Alive in this Moment" by Starfield to listen in. It is a rich song, and it is a song I listen to when I feel at peace. Savoring moments that you want to remember.  

And the quote for you all, I hope you enjoy:

"Accept all things you cannot control, the sooner you understand that, the easier the hardships and struggles you have in your life will be."

                                                                                           -Jacob Williams, 2012

God is Love.

J.